' You've never blogged!!!' exclaimed my friend, making me feel a little like a teenager boy, who is in this group of super studs and casanovas, and idiotically admits to being a virgin! It isn't such a big deal, this blogging stuff? And frankly speaking, i have been put off by many people i know who write any crap that they feel like on their blog and expect others to read it and come back to them with bouquets of appreciation.
For some days though, i kept on thinking about blogging. And the other day (yes, day not night) i dreamt about a high level panel discussion being held about blogging's future in our country. The participants were no less than the who's who of India (although known for all the wrong reasons usually!!!). This is how the scene of discussion went on-
'Blogging is anti women', scremaed Girija Vyas. 'Look at how these bloggers write anything they feel about women. Some even share their intimate and private moments by blogging and vent their anger about their wifes and girlfriends, online. That is grossly inappropriate and we raise a strong voice against it!'
' I am a poor farmer and i have never blogged in my life. I don't think poorest of people like me care about blogging in our country', said Madhu Koda, shyly, simultaneouly whipping back in his pocket the key chain of his BMW, lest anybody see it and demand an explanation as to how he could afford a BMW.
Atal Bihari Vajpayee, who actually had wanted to start the debate, had no choice but to speak after Mrs. Vyas and Mr. Koda as his preparations for his bamble took some time. Moreover it took him more than 10 minutes to stand & speak his two lines- "We only want a law mandating that blogging should be done in hindi, which is our 'rashtrabhasha'. And Advaniji will further speak about BJP's and RSS's stand on blogging".
Before Advaniji could speak, some south indian minsiters created a furore over Mr. Vajpayee's proposal. Some even demanded that the residents of non hindi states be given a minority status and be assigned quotas in IIMs/IITs and high profile professions like IAS. Mr. Advani was smart enough to tweak the law and proposed making it compulsory for poeple to be allowed to blog only in hindi or their Indian mothertongue (non-english).
The CPI along with other communist parties were listening to all this for some time and discussed something in bengali before Mr. Karat could not control it any further. "This is all a US agenda. They want us to divert from issues like poverty and hunger so they could further instill capitalism in India. We are against blogging or for that matter anything that leads to capitalism." he said, while wiping his face with his khaadi kurta, made in US of A!
Suddenly somebody was heard chuckling like he had inhaled laughing gas and could not control his laugh. It was Navjot Singh Sidhu, who spoke while still laughing- "My friend you seem to as comfortable with blogging as a bum is on a porcupine. Please understand you can not make an omelette without breaking the eggs. Perceptions in life are like fish in ice cold water. You have to chose between tightening your belts or losing your pants and with it your dignity."
Most of the members in the house did not understand what he was saying and so he was given a round of applause so that he shut up and sit down. Didi took the opportunity and started in bengali then switching to hindi- "As far as blogging does not harm poor farmers and labourers we will not have a problem with it. We can look at avenues of using blogging for good of such people. If anything of that sort happens then i promise we will launch new trains which will have facility to blog while on board."
Mr. A Raja also supported blogging vehemently. " We are in the 21st century, communication is the key to everything. In fact i was thinking of making available mobile blogging kiosks for which i am about to float a tender on lines of the 3G tender".
One of the most tech savvy ministers (or in his case ex-minsters), Shashi Tharoor, had just tweeted using his latest blackberry (which read- WTF, blogging shows we are democratic. Most of these old men from cattle class are sick!!!) spoke in his refined voice- "Promoting blogging is like celebrating our nation's heritage. I think it can be a revenue generating activity also'' and starting sharing some statistics from his new Macbook.
Dr. Manmohan Singh, who was the moderator of the discussion, cut Mr. Tharoor short and put forward a conclusion- "We definitely need blogging to remain abreast of the world (read Brazil, Russia and China), but it has to be inclusive in nature. We want our young leaders like Rahul Gandhi to take forward this discussion's results and constitue a parliamentary commitee which will evaluate as to how Blogging can be used for social upliftment and nation building. Then i (whihc means i along with Mrs. Gandhi) will analyse the recomendations and put forward a constitutional amendment to make blogging a constitutional Right. We shall call it- Right to blogging (RTB) and will try to put it to discussion in parliament's winter session. That is if Advaniji and Karat ji allow the parliament to work. Jai Hind"
That is how my first blog happened!!!
